Sure honey, it'll be fun...

"it will be fun", he said
"we can do it for FHE," he said
"you'll love it!," he said
"the water will be warm," he said

the other day blake really wanted to go fishing at the provo river.
that man sure loves to fish.
you see, i'm not very fond of being eaten alive
+ although i have a pretty sick pole, i'm not very good.
i wasn't sure how it would go with the babe
standing in the water, with an 18 lb. baby strapped to me trying to cast across a river that is the equivalent temperature of antarctica, wasn't so appealing
but... "it will be fun", he said

so i bucked up, strapped on my fishing attire (swimsuit, a raggy old shirt + 10 yr old boardshorts), + went to "have fun"
our first stop was cabelas because although I had a sick pole it had no line + blake had to upgrade his gear + supplies for provo river status.
i couldn't believe it, he was a little kid at christmas!
cabelas to him, is joanns to me, it was slightly adorable.
i couldn't believe that by the time we had escaped the store, it was almost FIVE
we we're finally ready to fish. with all our new gear + baby in tow we headed to the river
we we're almost there when "CLUNK" + warm air spitting out our vents
our car sputtereted to a stop + we pulled it over
i couldn't believe it! our      had broken + the car was now undriveable
we called my sister Mands + she showed up to the rescue
bummed by our adventure that never got to play out Amanda turned left + headed towards the river
SHE WAS COMING WITH!

we got there a little later than desired but had a blast none the less
we tried a few spots, no bites
a few more, no bites
then finally, on our last lap BOOM! a fish!!
+ then another one!
it was amazing!

the water was freezing
+ sawyer was heavy
but i did have fun
+ i loved snuggling my little guy close
as i watched my man do what he loves
while i laughed + chatted with my sister.
it was one great family night!

it's hard + a thought

it all goes back to that weekend 15 months ago 
when my sister + i had decided to take a short vacation to las vegas. 
just her, i + some much needed bonding time.
it was a blast.
we had a blast.
we saw some shows
did some dance dares
played a guitar for the passerby's
swam our hearts out
dined like champions 
+ shopped till we dropped
i had a blast

one thing i've always cherished about my family is our closeness.
we are a crazy family + we don't always get along (surprise) 
but we love each other, we do.

my sisters + i grew up close. 
we we're each others best friends
+ we we're always each others confidants

that one weekend 15 months ago, amanda + i talked
about our futures
our hopes
our dreams
our lives

it was then i had told her that blake + i were seriously trying for a baby!
it was then i thought i was pregnant.
but it was mixed emotions
we wanted a baby sooo badly.
3 pregnancy tests before that trip
3 pregnancy tests (-)
3 breakdowns with blake telling me, 'shhh, it will happen'

there were many times on that trip when i confided in my sister 
+ many times on that trip when she told me it would happen

the weekend ended + we drove home
she dropped me off + we cried as we said our goodbyes
i love my sister

that night i wasn't feeling to hot.
i was nauseous 
i had a headache
i didn't want to eat
i was beyond exhausted
.... could i be pregnant?

we drove to the store and purchased another lot of pregnancy tests
we came home + i did my thing + i waited the 3 minutes
+ the stick came back positive!
i could here blake pacing on the other side of the door 
so i thought i would put him out of his misery + slid it under the door
i washed my hands + saw the door crack open.
with tears welling up in his eyes 
+ tears welling up in mine
we embraced in one of the best hugs of our time together

we were going to be parents.

the following weeks were filled with an overload of emotions
excitement
nervousness
unsurity
love
fear
etc...
but we kicked into gear.
we got the crib, the clothes, the soaps + towels, the blankets, the diapers, the wipes, the creams, the toys, + the everything else.
we went to the appointments, the doctors, the hospital, + everywhere else we needed to be.
together we got it all done + together we passed the nine months + together we had our bouncy boy.

now here we are, i am, more than a year from that weekend + i am, well, content.
in the perfect state of peaceful happiness.
life isn't to hard, but hard enough.
i know that being sawyers momma is what i was put here to do.
but being a momma is so much more than i ever thought it would be.
i love him so much that at times it hurts.
many times throughout the day i look at him + against my will, start sobbing.
many times throughout the day my mind starts to run at mach 80 with thoughts of 'what ifs?' + 'why hasn'ts?' + 'why, what, why?'
many times throughout the day i worry that sawyer may be a bit behind.
many times throughout the day i reassure myself that sawyer is right where he needs to be.
many times throughout the day i run away to the bathroom and take a quick breath to recharge my batteries.
many times throughout the day i laugh because sawyer +/or blake do something delightful.
many times throughout the day i feel i couldn't love my husband any more.
many times throughout the day i'm grateful for blake, for his help, his wisdom, + his strength.
many times throughout the day i love being momma
many times throughout the day i am exhausted
+ many times throughout the day i just sit back holding my little boy + recognize my life for what it is, purely beautiful.

like many others around me
my life can be crazy
my life can be messy
my life can be surprisingly calm
+ my life can be just right

it's just a matter of thinking, "this is my life today + tomorrow will be even better"

Xoxo: This little Momma

savers + a treat

we've been spending a few days with daddy at work the past week while he flips the vacant units.
watching this little man explore has been a treat.
sawyer has been figuring out how to flip the pages in his books
+ he's still as sweet as ever.
just look at that face 

when people move out of the units anything left behind blake gets to keep.
so needless to say... we have alot of bikes.
since being back up north there are T W O di's + a savers within a ten minute drive.
so we try to hit them up once a day. 
last week we scccccored on a schwinn bike trailer
we got that bad boy for 10 bucks!
it was in pretty rough condition so while blake was at work i slaved away took the whole thing apart re-sewed all the seams + washed what i could.
as a result... a beautifully p e r f e c t bike trailer.
when we spent the day at daddys work on his lunch break we all loaded up 
+ rode
+ dined
+ enjoyed a perfect shake 
at sammy's 
Y U M

I'm a horrible Blogger I know...

I’m a horrible blogger I know, but sometimes being a Momma is just too much fun + a little bit time consuming. The little has been a down for a nap for almost an hour now

+ in that time I have folded + washed some laundry, cleaned the room, washed the dishes + swept the floor. Since I’ve caught up on some house cleaning I thought I’d use this little time to catch up on a post. So I’m hoping I have maybe another 20 minutes to write.

Life has really taken a flip for our little family. Since March we have taken a move back to my hometown. We are currently living in American Fork until we can move into our apartment in Provo. 

Blake got a new job doing property management for a few apartment complexes, one of which we’ll be moving into, + he loves his job. I’m excited for the fact that in order for Blake to eat lunch with us everyday all he has to do is walk up a few steps! 

My sister + I have currently been busy getting ready to open a store, The Green Lily Boutique, which we hope to get up + running here in the next few months!  In the meantime we have been going + doing booths at local festivals. We just recently had one at the American Freedom Festival + look forward to our next booth at the World FolkFest at the end of the month. It's been crazy stressful but also very fun. 

Since moving up north our lives have been crazy busy, in the best of ways!

We have gone + done SO many things in just the few months that we've been here!

We've gone to the aquarium 

We celebrated our first Mother’s Day AND our first Father’s Day.

I turned 22! 

It was an awesome day spent with family. 

+ dinner at Mi Ranchitos

We just recently went to the Hogle Zoo this past weekend + despite the unexpected thunder + rain, We had a blast. 

One of the elephants there, Christie, even painted a canvas for Sawyers Nursery.

 

We've gone to family parties

We've gone to a company party

Where we acted like kids again 

We've gone swimming

We've seen some new movies 

Gone to the new malls 

We've gone back to Saint George to see family

& take some family pictures

  & just all around had a good time! 

These past couple of months have been amazing!

We move into our new place in the beginning of August + we can't wait! 

So many new things await!

Until Next Time!

Xo: Mrs. T

Sawyer, Sawyer, Sawyer....

Can I just say that being this little boys Momma is SO gratifying.
It is one of the most amazing things in this world.
Here are a few things I've learned about being a Momma these past few months.

 

Sleeping is such a precious thing and one I've always taken for granted. But, being able to snuggle up with my little one, hearing him breathe and smelling his sweet baby smell, is so much better.

Bottles... I'm positive I've cleaned more than a billion thousand bottles since he's been on this earth.

Diapers and formula aren't as detrimental to our wallet as I thought they'd be. But, my obsessive baby shopping compulsion is. I can't leave any store with at least one item for Sawyer in the cart.

Latching and unlatching his carseat into and out of the carseat base in the car has become my least favorite job (alongside bottle cleaning duty).

Blake refuses to change poopy diapers.  He runs like it is the plague. I, on the other hand, got blessed with the fact that unless my nose is buried in the diaper, can barely smell a thing.

Outdoor activities have become much funner(spelling?) with a baby. ie: dog walks, running, Sunday drives, eating out, etc.  I'm excited for when the little dude gets what is going on and can laugh alongside Blake and I.

I'm pro at rocking/singing my baby to sleep. I feel like I was literally born for this task. The hard part is putting him in his crib to let him sleep and missing out on massive snuggle time.

If I had it my way, nothing would ever get done except bum changes, belly's fed, and snuggling.  Perfect world.

In any occasion where holding Baby S or holding Baby S in his carseat, I trump Blake. That man couldn't hold him longer than 5 minutes without needing a 60 minute deep tissue massage.

A part of my heart breaks every morning when Blake gets up, gives us both kisses goodbye, and leaves for his 8 hour work day.  What I wouldn't give for us to both be able to be stay at home parents. Once again, my perfect world.

Baths are easily top favorites.

And although I am very grateful my Lil' Boomba is successfully sleeping 6 hours each night, I need to find a way to fall back asleep after that 6 hour feeding because being up at 4 is nothing short of inconvenient.

I love the many similarities between my child and my Husband.

Sawyers cute baby sneezes are adorable.

And last but not least, I will never fail to marvel at the fact that my heart melts a little every time Sawyer is sweet enough to give me one of his face eating smiles. (which is quite often).

 

I just love this child and being his little Momma.

Until next time
Xoxo